Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
