She's JV to your varsity
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
