It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
