it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
