Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
