I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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