omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
