jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
