It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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