Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
