Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize