piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
