normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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