I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize