Christians are straight up FREAKS
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
