That's intense
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
