counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
