i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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