Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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