I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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