Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
