My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
