Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
