hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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