I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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