...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
