Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
