Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
