Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
