evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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