Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
