Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
