i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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