WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
