i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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