i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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