i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize