so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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