Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
