I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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