Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
