So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
