none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize