I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize