I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
false alarm, still single
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