i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
