Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
