Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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