i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
