Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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