i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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