she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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