I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
