I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
