fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
