oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
