That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
