u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize