I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
