I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
