Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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