I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Boobs speak an international language.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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