My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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