You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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