I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
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Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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