I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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