I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
