It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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