"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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