STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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