just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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